Rejoice, Dear Readers! Dear Author is back, and she made you a cake. If you are sufficiently cynical and media-savvy, you may have noticed that the headline was “inspired” by one of my favorite articles ever from The Onion. With all this talk about the possible upcoming launch of the “Satellite of Love,” I said to myself ”What can I do as a food blogger to memorialize this epic, yet controversial event?” I half-jokingly posted a comment on the An American in North Korea blog about making a spaceship cake, but just as soon as I wrote it, I realized that it was actually a really awesome idea. I mean, they even make cake pans shaped like spaceships, presumably for the birthday parties of little boys who want to be astronauts when they grow up. But when I looked up pictures of actual North Korean rockets, I found this (image via AP):
So instead of a kiddie spaceship cake, I decided to go with something a little more “grown up.” It also gives new meaning to the phrase “Satellite of Love.” I do wish to keep this site PG-rated, so I will just say that I used a “bachelorette party cake pan.” But unlike that horrible bridesmaid dress, you can use it again. Really. If you want to create your very own masterpiece, you will need to get quite a few special ingredients and kitchen toys. I put some of them in my amazon store. In addition to the slightly naughty cake pan, you will also need food coloring and a cake decorating bag with tips. You can make your frosting in its “natural” color if you prefer, but it stands out more if you use opaque white coloring to make your icing a bright white. You will also need the following colors: red, yellow, and black (for the “smoke”). If you have never written words on a cake in hangul, or in any language ever, a little practice can’t hurt. I did a few test runs with some ketchup before attempting it on the cake. If you are a cake decorating geek, I will tell you I used a Wilton #5 tip.
Here are the full recipes and instructions for the cake and frosting. Illustrations of certain steps appear at the end.
5. Lubricate your pan (pun totally intended) with canola oil or budder and pour the batter into the pan.
6. Bake in the oven at 350F for 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.
7. Cool on a rack for a few hours or overnight before removing the cake from the pan.
8. Once your cake and frosting are ready, start by coating the top portion of the rocket with the white icing and level it until smooth.
9. Take the remaining white icing and mix it with a heaping tablespoon of your grey icing. Add a little soy milk if it is too thick.
10. Coat the bottom of the cake (other than immediately below the rocket, which is where the flame will go) with the light grey icing.
11. Take the darker grey icing and apply small amounts of it over the light grey icing, then use a spoon or spatula to swirl the icing in circular motions to look like clouds of smoke.
12. Put your yellow icing in a decorating bag fit the bag with a wider tip (I used Wilton #48). Start at the base of the rocket and pipe yelllow lines in downward strokes.
13. Put the red icing in decorating bag fit with a small tip (as in my practice session, I used Wilton #5), pipe vertical lines onto the rocket and the characters for “조선” in red.
14. Take lots of pictures before you cut the cake, because really, how many times in your life are you going to bake a North Korean rocket cake??
And now, I give you some photographic highlights from “The Making of the Satellite of Love Cake”:
Wet, dry and “foam” ingredients ready to go:
Into the oven it goes:
Out of the oven and waiting to cool down:
Mixing the frosting:
The food coloring:
Yellow for the flame:
Red for the “조선” letters:
Grey for the smoke:
Ready to spend the night in the fridge:
A little “snip snip” to make sure the cake lies flat:
Turned over and mounted on a foil background:
Mixing the light smoke frosting:
After the application of the white and light grey frosting, with dark grey waiting in the wings:
Dark grey smoky swirls. See, it’s looking less and less like a “bachelorette party cake,” right?:
Last step before hangul- the eternal flame:
And there you have it. Now if the DPRK actually goes through with the launch, you know what to serve to your comrades for the celebratory party.
Let them eat cake!!
Dear Author



























































